EEW: How did you deal with being the only one of 14 children with a different father–one who just so happened not to be a part of your life?

Tamela: That was hard. It was hard for me growing up. You know how they say the black sheep of the family? But I was the light sheep. You know, basically, I was so light skinned and there were always those rebuttals from other people [saying] that is not your sister. And then, I was [a] chunky, chubby little girl. My brothers would always make jokes about me. I had all kinds of nicknames. It was hard, but I just took that and turned it around for myself to even love myself inspite of what it looked like. It just all kind of worked for my good.

EEW: You moved out of your mom’s house and went to live with your sister at one point. Why?

Tamela: Yes, I did because I was in torment living as a teenager. I left home when I was sixteen because my Stepfather was so mean.

EEW: I read that there was drinking, drugs, and lots of different men in your sister’s home. How did you avoid getting caught up in that lifestyle?

Tamela: I don’t know. I just always had a feeling like there was something better for me, not really knowing that the Lord was covering me, and all the prayers that my mom had prayed for me [were working]. Something on the inside of me was tugging like, this is not for you. But at the time I just couldn’t be at home because of my Stepfather. I just despised him. Honestly, hate is a harsh word, and I really, at the time, I hated him.

EEW: Explain why you felt that way.

Tamela: The reason why I hated him was because he was mean, and my mother was a very loving, encouraging type person. And he wooed her in, which happens to so many women, where he was doing things, helping her out, buying things, buying groceries. But once he wooed her in and married her, the whole thing turned. He messed up my mom’s credit. Before she married him I could see that he wasn’t who he said he was. [But] my mom, she was in love. You know how love can be sometimes… people can’t see clearly. And the night she was going to marry him I was sixteen years old. I’ll never forget it. I told her I hope you know what you’re doing– and that was called having a smart mouth for a kid in a black family for you to say something like that! (Laughing) But I wasn’t sassy with it. She was like, well are you going with me [to the wedding], because we were really close, me and my mom, because she was all I had. And I said no I’m not going. Her feelings were hurt. She cried. But in the end, things happened like I said they would happen. I told her, he’s not who he says he is mom, and I wish you wouldn’t marry him. [I told her] we’re doing okay without anybody.

EEW: After leaving, you eventually went back home with your mom, right?

Tamela: Yeah, I saw myself falling off. I wasn’t getting up going to school because I was with one of my sisters and she wasn’t waking me up saying Tam go to school. I was a Junior in High School. But I saw myself falling, and I said, mom please, can I come back home just to finish school. And she said
yes.

EEW: You and your mom were so close even though she struggled with Alzheimer’s. Is that true?

Tamela: Yes, she died this past June.

EEW: Sorry to hear that.

Tamela: You know, the funny thing is, I felt sad and relieved at the same time, because she had been suffering with it for over 15 years. It was a long time… my whole career basically. Still, I’m just thankful to my mother. She will be my hero, until I leave this world. She will be my #1 hero.

EEW: So she never got a chance to really see you flourish?

Tamela: No and it makes me want to boo-hoo because, after all those years of her praying for me and praying over me, she didn’t get to see it. She knew who we [her children] were, but she couldn’t keep up with what was going on. So, that made me cry, and a lot of times I still do. I cry. Like, last year we were here [in Dallas] doing [the Tyler Perry play] What’s done in the Dark. We performed here at Fair Park which is a music hall, which is really, really big. And a lot of my family members came, and a couple of my brothers were in the audience, and I sung my song, and after I came off the stage I wept so hard in the back. I just kind of went in between the curtains and I just cried, because I was thinking, man mom, you missed it. And it makes me tear up right now (choking up) because her love, and her pushing me, really made the difference. She told me always love the Lord with all your heart. She said, Tammy, she always called me Tammy. She never called me Tamela. She said God will take you far if you love the Lord, God will take you far.

EEW: You’ve gone very far. You were the only one in your family to graduate from High School. What made the difference for you?

Tamela: I looked at my other sisters and the experiences that they were going through, and I just flat out said, I don’t want that. I don’t want that type of life for myself. I don’t want to have to argue and fuss and fight with a man. So, I believe that’s why when it came to me choosing a husband, I did like the Word says. I wrote down my vision. I really asked God for what I wanted in a man, because I didn’t want to have to help somebody stop drinking and smoking. And I wanted someone that sang, so he would understand me coming in late at night if I was singing at a musical, so I wouldn’t have to be explaining, no, I have not been at the club, I’ve been at church. The things that I did ask God for, He did do it for me.

More.. To read the rest of the Tamela Mann interview (click here)

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